所有事情都妥当了以后, 趴在新买的小地毯上粘起了那张跟了我一个月已经破烂不堪的纽约地铁图. 我知道在很长一段时间内这张图对于我来说都不会有什么作用了, 但还是固执的想要把它粘好. 一直固执的觉得所有的事情都要有一个结局, 一个归宿. 就好像我把那张图粘好了, 贴在墙上, 每每看着, 可以满意的笑笑, 觉得那一个月的生活是完满的.

尽管圣诞节宅了, 大都会只是花了3次时间粗略的逛完, 还有很多的博物馆没有去, 也没有去百老汇和卡内基, 但是这次旅行还是没有被我搞砸太多. 没有太多后悔以及遗憾的地方.

but still feel sorry for someone. i fucked things up again. as usual. haha. the only thing i can say is sorry and thank you for giving me such a wonderful time there, that makes me miss new york, even i dont really like the city. it's weird, when you get used to something or someone, you'll miss that a lot after you left. and you didnt think you'll miss it like that.
however, the bad feeling also comes from the endless snow here, endless grey and white. it swallows everything, swallows all of the emotions and throws you to the sad and lost.
we all feel like we're gonna have depression. someone chooses 宅. i just wanna kick my ass.
why ppl have so much emotions, if i can whip those meaningless and useless emotions out, probably i'll be a superwoman. i just felt lost when i opened my eyes again on the plane which was gliding on the o'hare airport. it was full of dry snow that flied to the sky as sands with the wind. i lost, lost the accompany and the sunshine.
finally i still need accompany. i thought i could bear it, but it turns out when i got used to an accompany, i easily sank in.
and hated myself again.

无所谓了, 下雪综合忧郁症总会好的吧, 3月份最后一场雪过去以后, 又是那个我喜欢的madison.
it's just a season.