who saved the cheerleader



自然醒的时候天有点灰. 抓起手机, 9:02分, 刚好可以看到日食. 洗脸刷牙穿好衣服以后就抓着相机和两副墨镜下楼了.

光晕太亮, 眯起眼睛, 才能看到被咬了一口的太阳.

回到客厅, 电视里番茄台正在说"感受科学伟大的力量", 可我却对更加神秘的影响力更感兴趣.

如果日食带来的真的是改变, 那在我眯着眼睛抬头仰望的那眩晕的几分钟里, 究竟我的命运轨迹偏移了几分几毫, 那些神秘的气流把我推向了哪里, 靠近了谁, 远离了谁. 我好像看到了自己的星盘, 那每一颗星, 太阳月亮, 内行星外行星, 小行星虚点, 它们站在多少光年之外的黑暗里窥探, 嘴角挂着一丝看破一切的笑, 我只能仰着头, 茫然地感受它们带给我的全部光芒.





















猛然间用代理打开很久不用的facebook的时候, 还是忍不住登陆了马甲, 输入了那两个名字. 也不知道我这么做是图的什么, 是故意要重新撕开伤口的痂么, 为什么呢.

反正看到那张新的头像的时候, 心里像是在很深很深的水潭里掉进了一颗石头, 咚的一声..没有溅起什么水花, 只是深深, 深深地往下沉, 好像永远见不到底.

三个月是真的不长, 可是世界好像已经变了一个模样. 你的脸变了, 我好像不认识了. 我的生活变了, 过去的那段日子好像在桥的那边, 桥上是一片雾气朦胧.

不知道是不是因为昨晚看老虎798的照片了, 那些熟悉的场景. 总之是又梦到了你, 居然梦到你比我混得好. 如果梦真的是反的, 那梨塔给我描述的未来就该成真了, 我成为世界闻名的大记者/大主播/大编辑, 然后可以轻松地谈起过去的一切.


























































back

je m'appelle ROUGE.

其实去年看<我的名字叫红>, 看了五分之二终于还是没有看下去的. 那些大段大段关对于中亚细腻纷繁的绘画艺术的描写, 让我实在没有耐性跟下去. 是的, 我是个没有耐心的人, 前半部分让我瞌睡连天的<红与黑>我可以全部看完对我来说是个奇迹. 虽然后来去了新疆, 忽然对那样浓烈苍茫的文化产生出一丝异样的向往.

爱绿色的人, 也会喜欢上红色.
飞红巾眯起眼睛站在沙丘上看着连绵无边的黄沙, 鲜红的衣角猎猎纷飞.
Valentina对这个世界单纯又执着地爱着, 耳边是一抹浓烈的红.

当年是被飞红巾这张萌到的..

美丽的valentina..

我的红裙子..


从隔壁搬来的..

红纹石..








应某人要求,特加的红裙记忆..=  =


君子花..香味很甜...


我终于从萝莉变成了御姐

不管是对relationship还是society。结果就是我在还有半年才奔二的路上就急火火地甩掉了萝莉的小尾巴,看来社会新闻部呆久了是不好的,还有天涯的小三帖看多了也是不好的。

angie和vera分别从呆湾和以色列给我发来贺电,广西涨水真是引人注目,可惜我们这种从小看内涝看到大,在小学捉小蛤蟆放树叶上顺水漂的人,面对涨水也只是一对下垂眼。不过被困在万恶的超低地势的电视台的那天下午,其实还是有一点儿慌神。看来和编辑搞好关系还是很有必要的说,制片人老师听到了风声说有橡皮艇我就义无反顾跟组织走,最后在7点终于坐上了外面有水里面也有水满员超载两位民兵蜀黍拖得很吃力的橡皮艇横渡涨水的安新小区来到了漓江桥边,然后迅速跟随制片人王美女的红色大标志来到了龙隐桥边,可惜前路漫漫,东江菜市前高达膝盖的水还是硬趟过去的,其间还被猥琐痴汉摸手,真TM的天雷滚滚。后来在解放路满以为可以等到车,结果等了半小时车没来,老爸电话打过来问“是不是还在电视台啊”我想娘的老妈你自己不打电话又跟我老爹碎什么嘴,于是大吼“我早就出台了!”。。。周围一圈人都惊恐地回头,左边一位老爷爷饱经沧桑地用一种复杂的眼神看着我,难道是在感叹生活如此艰辛么。8点半回到家老妈仍然是万年不变的蛋腚上网背影,听到我上楼的声音幽幽地回过头,甩出三个字:“好玩吧~”老娘我瞬间肾上腺素上升,轰上了房门=  =不过偶运气还素不错滴,听说最后一大批出台的同志们是坐轮子超高的军用大卡出来滴,那时候已经半夜11点半老。。。

7月一到忽然来了好多实习大哥大姐,可怜我这个大一“暑假来玩儿” [某无良新来大哥说的,立马被我diǎo gàng] 的忽然变成了老人家,又是领参观又是带徒弟。我朽朽滴虚荣心就介么被满足老,不过社会新闻部大概也就呆这一个暑假了。实在是没意思啊没意思。黑心房地产就不说老,太多老说了木意思,阻挠政府强行收地做房产的被暴打的农民,还有调配站可怜的一群被欺负辛苦了几十年赚的钱被吞的老奶奶,还要坐着竹筏浸泡着市场饭馆漂出来的垃圾水一堆辣椒籽浮在水面上进内涝排不掉的受灾最严重的村眼看着右边飘来一根蔫菜儿的油条,还有下水道堵塞粪水蹭蹭往上冒的居民楼,子啊,以前见过的所有天雷都不再是雷了,这个悲剧的世界才真是TMD天泪滚滚人神共愤啊,于是老娘的心理也蹭蹭蹭地阴暗起来。。

桶我要是真的到了明尼苏达你估计都该不认识我了,从内胆到外壳无一不新。每周末下馆子都要被老妈洗脑,最近都开始聊起八卦来了,我们节目的开头语啊,“新闻无处不在,我们只关注您身边的”,华丽丽的小三正房保卫战,没有最狗血只有更狗血。其实么我觉着我纯真的还挺可爱的,我这不还没奔二么,奔二之前要是没做点什么二的事儿,保不齐这辈子也会和老妈一样留下某些遗憾哇。虽然我现在也会在下雨的时候听着几米在出租上流眼泪,可是我一样斗志昂扬,勇猛向前地做着我的新闻女战士。亲爱的梨塔呀,你表要精神分裂or被害妄想了啊,就算生活乌云密布咱也得又悲伤又浪荡不是,命令你马上下下来听,多欢乐的一歌儿啊。

号外就是最近迷上了霍长卿白豆腐道长,昨天居然梦到老,自己汗一个先。八过毕竟还是与自己没什么关系的人,醒来以后想马上回忆梦中香艳情节结果怎么也想不起来一丁点儿了,反而一个月以前梦到桶的时候那种悲伤和压抑一直到现在我回想起那个梦还是感觉如临其境,梦果然是一个很妙的东西。

也许我真的是在怄气吧,就算怄气是放不下的表现,但是能够让我有如此强大的信念积极地活下去那又有什么不好。


先来两张涨大水的吧=  =
台门口



民兵蜀黍救命哇!


想想我是怎么从这条路趟过来的。。




等车的时候,旁边一个圆圆的MM把小哈放在背包里。。


涨水那天早上出去上班,在离家不远的桥上拍的。。看到这个心里不鸡豆为啥只浮出一个“黛”字。。难道因为天是黑的。。=  =



小区街拍。。=  =老妈最爱的狗哇!




咱家我最爱的花。。闻起来老甜了!


真欢乐。。



话说某天中午我在台里无聊老。。







<other people's love letters>---the warmth, anger, depression n tears. ②

another sad story..







when i read those i couldnt help thinking about u.







how i miss u?



when the king loses his heart...



so cute~ :)









i dreamt about u just now...



happy couple =]



"i am forever attracted to u, body and mind, inside, outside, with and without."
"but i dont know u."



sorry i screwed up everything.
i was such a mass at that time.
but believe me this was really a torture for me.
n now i'm being purnished by myself.



XDXDXD





i love this story the most, coz at last the 2 people in love finally found out their affections together. sweet and warm.




here comes Chelsea's answer!



this is what i thought at that time.
it's not that far from me to u.
but now, i even cant see u anymore.



dear Rita, i am so hating men now lol.



dont really need to read this, we all know how to write it.
reasons why i love u. i could even list much more things if i want.



lol "my mum asked me if we were going to get married"~


"i'm glad to be the only man in your life again" =]



only god knows how i want u.



i'm not sure if i'm enjoying it or not..



do u still remember u used to ask me "r u pregnant" for fun?
but i nver told u i wanna have a baby for u.
even when i think about this, it'll make me smile.
everytime when i hear Damien Rice's Animals Were Gone, i couldn't help crying when it comes "we can make babies and accidental songs."
i prefer to understand it as "we can make babies in an accidental song."
how sadly beautiful it is.
i just want the most normal love and the serenest life.
be ur wife, do everything for u. give u all i have.
have a baby for u.



the editor writes about this:"this was written by the husband hours before he was going to into surgery.. just in case. he pulled through, n they recently celebrated their 21th anniversary." =]



she's right.
it's my own way to grow up after leaving u.
it's torturing, but i have to make it.



i always love cuddling..



taking a breath..
maybe now i can understand u.



where is my The One..



<other people's love letters>---the warmth, anger, depression n tears. ①

这不是一本小说, 也不是时尚杂志, 不是漫画也不是诗集. 不属于任何一种可以吸引我的书的类型, 可是我在urban看到它的第一眼,就挪不开步子了.

this book is actually perfect for me, not only fullfills my curiosity and voyeuristic urges, but also brings me up and down in all kinds of emotions. i cried smiling. i felt the same as some of them, and understood him from others of them. when people think this is naive, i am naive, i still cant stop being touched by it.

this is all we've been through, we are going through and/or we will go through. it makes me cry a lot, and i just want to share this soft feeling.

所有的图均可点开看大图.









my lack of sense of secure makes me needy.
i just wanna feel u.



i can see tears rather than upset.





precious napkin love letter =]



the first letter which made me cry.
thank u. i hate u. i'm sorry.



sweet :)











guess this is a telegraph..
our grandpa and grandma had romance as well =]



how sweet n naughty those girls r~ =P





this is an after-divorce letter.. the complex emotions inside this letter let me think a lot...even divorce is so sad...





ahaha those r hilarious!





the last paragraph is remarkable... beautiful like a dream...



i love those 2 people with tender rejection and answer...
sometimes we never mean to hurt people, we just dont know how to deal with things...



it's Valentine. where r u my valentine.



this is a sad story. perhaps many bad girls used to be good girls, they never wanted to be like the way they r now.
i could see me in it. me in the past, me at present, probably me in the future, which i dont wanna be.









those're like children's doodling.. XD







ur classic question: what r u expecting from me?
those r all what i want from love.





i'm always wondering if that's possible that 2 people broke up but both of them still love each other..



what i want is just a bench by the lake, we sit together n my head on ur shoulder, quiet and serene.



this makes me believe that there're marriages with true love in this world.



the most remarkable place is at under-left: i wish i was there~ XD


回国=吃+睡+聊+发呆+实习

为了不让我表现的像个饿死鬼, 我决定在食物图之前先放一张东京机场的手机画面.. 谁能告诉我这个名字很Q的NTT DoCoMo是虾米公司挖~听上去挺有爱的



好吧我没有响应国家的号召, 刚回到桂林的第一天就被老妈拖出去吃米粉了!! 九个月没有嘬过米粉的人.........米粉!!! 锅烧!!! 酸萝卜!!!!!!


我只能说手机图片实在是辱没了桂林米粉的大名, 真的米粉怎么可能看上去那么没料!!


此乃菜梗马蹄丸子~~


好久没吃到布袋鲈鱼了...


然后是老爹做的菜...这个是酸豆角炒青蛙..=  =


还是不要管那个青蛙了, 这一盆才是重点!! 老爹菜里头我的最爱哇!!! 喜爱酸辣的童鞋们千万不能错过!!!


用汤泡饭我可以吃下两碗饭!!



家里的院子还是一样的绿..


不过牛好像有点儿褪色了..lol


鱼池还挺正常..没有rita家鱼被猫偷吃的惨剧发生...


这个季节唯一见到的花了..


此狗乃吾娘之最爱..


我总是怀疑他看不看得见我在哪个方位..


回到家我就得瑟了..






可是才没得瑟几天..我就来到了传说中的桂林电视台...




传说中的编辑室...




传说中的节目样带和采访记录本...




节目是下午6点播的..于是我每天早上9点报到, 要等一个小时才会有人来...=  = 于是我一个人在空荡荡的编辑室继续得瑟...=  =


后来节目制片人把我派给一个老师..于是我光荣的迎来了我的第一个任务.. 打同期声以及粗编新闻视频..


这是一个关于山村里的孩子迎来15台爱心电脑的故事...恭城县大江村的小喷油们都很有爱...


过了两天我终于可以出街了...
偶采访的第一个节目是一个端午节汉服活动..实在是太有爱了!!






校长爷爷在朗诵屈原祭文的时候...


估计完全没有料到背后两个圆滚滚的镜头...偶老师和桂林日报社的鸭舌帽帅记者...


偶亲耐滴蒋老师..其实头光光的不代表他很老!! 当年老大唐宇不也是二十多岁秃头的摸...特写个...


偶滴名字华丽丽滴跟在了老师滴名字后边...哇哈哈哈哈哈哈


电视台风水好哇, 紧邻江边没事了我就去阳台上放风, 还可以看划龙船............



童鞋们明天六一节快乐!!!!!! 我要吃蛋糕!!!!!!!!!!!!!

blue madison.

i hate madison's winter. but i DO LOVE madison's summer.







cute guy~ lol


cow boat haha..


such a clean sky...


plz ignore this woman with weird pose.. =  = i was forced...





















when i put my camera behind my sunglasses..





今天在草坡上, 看到漂亮的蒲公英花. 虽然我看到蒲公英还是会伤心.













  






我疯狂的害怕一个人, 脆弱的像是溺在水中, 双脚被水藻缠住, 企图抓住身边可以抓住的每一个人. 我想原来我也会有这么脆弱这么无助的时候, 我害怕一个人呆在房间里, 我总是要和rita一起去图书馆, 总是想给老虎打电话, 在QQ群里一直一直的说"大家说说话吧我只要看到你们有人说话就好", 如果见不到人如果QQ上一片死寂如果翻遍了手机也找不到一个人可以打电话, 我会一下子崩溃.

我会不停的哭. 一个人在房间的时候大哭, 这种时候父母变成了一种符号, 我会在哭的时候像个幼儿园孩子似的大声的叫妈妈, 还会在脑子里浮现老爸那张严肃的脸和抿成一字的嘴. 走在路上的时候流眼泪, 坐在公车上的时候流眼泪, 在图书馆看书的时候流眼泪.

我自己已经没有力量了, 唯有从其他的事物里寻找可以支撑我的东西, 一首歌, 一个故事. 我一整天一直不停的听一首歌一直到这首歌失去让我勇敢的力量, 然后再换一首, 再换一首. 三个月以来我已经听废了很多首歌, itunes里显示某一首歌被播放成百上千次, 于是自己都被自己吓一跳. 我去看豆瓣上那些不同的人发帖子诉说自己的故事, 很长很长很长, 看到最后觉得自己都要窒息. 我去看jar的博客, 从她04年的日志开始看起,  看到她年轻时的文艺小资, 看到她的痛苦难过, 看到她诉说一个个故事的开始与结束, 看到她不停地去西藏, 看到她每次渡过痛苦的时期之后日志的内容变成一些操蛋的生活琐事, 04050607年, 现在依然坚强勇敢并且幸福着, 心里哗的感慨一声, 原来生活是可以这么快就过去的, 时间是可以这么快就流走的, 就好像去土豆看康熙, 土豆是按照一个月一个月分栏的, 我看见2月份的, 3月份的, 我都不敢去点开来看, 我会想起那个时侯我是哭的多么惨, 吃的多么少, 但是现在还是过去了, 虽然我现在还是总是不自觉的不分时间场合的哭然后把朋友吓到死, 我还是偶尔暴食偶尔一整天都不吃东西, 但是那些日子还是过去了, 我还是要回国了, 这个学期还是结束了. 我还把3月12号的那一集翻出来看了, 那一天我正在去法国的飞机上. 虽然我现在还是害怕看到2月份的日历, 害怕看到大海听到海浪的声音, 害怕回国了要去北京大悦城和前门, 上海南京路, 还有阳朔KAYA酒吧, 漓江边的某一块大石头, 害怕在北京的同学发798的照片, 甚至害怕看到蒲公英, 可是我想总有一天我可以去勇敢面对今天发生的一切. Jar说:“经历了同样的事,有的人可能愤怒,有的人可能悲伤,有的人可能若无其事,而最终所有人的命运都会回归到平静。”我只有等待着那一天快一点到来.

至少我还有我的树保护我.

i'm gonna forget.

adieu blueberry.



my shine is still here. the thing you said you already lost, is here. it's all i have. i'm gonna keep it, for someone else, or next someone else, or next next someone else.  for THE ONE.

even now i know the reason you want me to hate you, i still cant. i dont blame anything, just feel pity for you. promise me you're gonna be happy anyway.

sometimes i feel i'm so pathetic, i'm such a loser. i screwed up everything directly or indirectly when i didnt mean all of those. i'm just childlike, i'm too young for that. there's no time machine or regret drugs however.

it is reasonable you got her cos i cant be by your side. when you block me on facebook i know it's the ending, i lose you finally. all i can do is just move on, bravely with my shine. and my tree on my neck will protect me. it's my belief, my faith.




adieu blueberry.



Don't take away my shine
My shine is all I have
My heat, my love, my beauty and my glad
It worries me sometimes that I want love
And live a life of sad